"Nowhere is a person's "stuff" more likely to show up than in an intimate relationship. Closeness requires vulnerability, and for some people, tearing down those walls can be very scary. Protecting your heart may be something you've needed to do, but if you want someone to really know you, you're going to have to stand there, naked. With all your beauty and all your pain. Because if you edit stuff out, or push things down, you'll understand in your heart your partner doesn't really know you. If you want to be seen, you have to be willing to show yourself. And in order to create something healthy with someone else, you really need to know yourself, too. Otherwise how can you articulate what's true for you? What lights you up, or scares you, what you need or want in your heart of hearts? And how can you be accountable when your stuff comes up, which it will? The ability to recognize what is yours is vital so you can apologize when you need to, so you can explain yourself clearly, so you can work on those areas that may be holding you back, that's one of the huge gifts of relationship. That's the path to true intimacy. Infatuation is easy, intimacy is hard. There are no winners when you and the person you love are in pain. You protect your ego, or you protect the relationship. If you want to truly love, that requires your vulnerability, and it takes guts to be naked like that."
~ Ally Hamilton